I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
