Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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