I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
