the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
