Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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