It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm really busy with my period
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