Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i now understand why vodka
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
