and she was petting her beer can
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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