She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
