it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
