I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
