Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
