i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
