I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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