So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
