So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
