Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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