Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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