No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
