The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
