So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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