i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
