You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
