I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
