Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
