Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
