Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
