From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
