I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
