I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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