I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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