Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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