Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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