David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
