she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
