Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
