His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
