If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
