my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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