I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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