Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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