Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
