I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
