We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
