Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
