Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The uberlube is also flammable
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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