I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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