just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
