ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
