I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
