i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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